Diplomatic Dispatches

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I’ve been thinking about how uncomfortable we’ve all become with complexity.

We want our people and our problems neatly labelled: right or wrong, good or bad, us or them.

It’s tidy. It’s easy.
And it’s killing our ability to solve anything.

But the delicious irony is that...humans are messy.

We speak in oxymorons:

→ Virtual reality

→ Unbiased opinion

→ Fake news

→ Controlled chaos

→ Act naturally

→ Minor catastrophe

We're all a walking mass of contradictions.

→ We want real, meaningful connections with the people around us but we can’t put our phones down.

→ My eldest son loves French toast but hates eggs.

→ I care about the environment but don’t own an EV. And it won’t stop me getting on a plane.

Its in our DNA to be contrary.

And yet… our public discourse has calcified into: you’re either with us or against us.

We pick our colours, plant our flags… and stop listening.
We excoriate leaders for changing their minds; when adapting to new facts should be a strength.

Diplomats know better.
We’re trained to live in the space between.

It's not us or them.
Or right or wrong.
And almost never all good or all bad.

This space between is where nuance lives.

Where you uncover the real reasons someone believes or acts the way they do. Where you see that people can hold contradictory beliefs and still be sincere.

The more we accept that, the more likely we are to find common ground.

Then success evolves into something more powerful and more lasting.

So what’s the antidote to this plague of binary thinking?

Curiosity.

But not the shallow kind.
Diplomatic curiosity is deliberate. Strategic. Tireless.

We spend hours walking in the shoes of our counterparts before we ever sit across the table.

We map out their pressures, their cultural context, the stories that shaped them.
We ask question after question. Not to trap, or to put on the defensive. But to understand.

By the time we get in the room, we’re not guessing at their motives.
We’re prepared to meet them where they are.

That’s what keeps you out of the trap of sides, slogans, and shouting.

So next time someone demands you pick a side, try this:

→ Refuse to be boxed.

→ Probe the story behind their perspective.

→ Listen for the points of agreement before you fixate on the differences.

The space between isn’t empty.
It’s where progress - sales - magic - transformation - dialogue - happens.

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Aaand speaking of curiosity...indulge yours by giving my new podcast trailer a listen. Apparently the more ears it gets, the higher I climb in the charts (who knew?).

The first full episode of How to Diplomat drops September 11. Until then, you can binge the trailer here:

Trailer Aug 21 · How to Diplomat - storie... 1:25   ​