Diplomatic Dispatches

Flattery, Power and the Fine Line We all Walk

I didn’t make it through the whole thing.

About 10 minutes into the Trump Cabinet praise-fest earlier this week, I tapped out.

By the time someone was declaring him the most deserving Nobel Prize winner in the history of the award, I was a bit sick in my mouth.

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And I say that not as someone who thinks flattery has no place in leadership.

Quite the opposite.

In diplomacy, charm is strategic.

We’re incorrigible. Even now I can’t help myself. In certain situations, the charm button just flicks on.

Years of diplomacy will do that to you

So sometimes, yes, you have to lay it on a bit.

You smooth the atmospherics so your Ambassador’s in the right headspace for a tough meeting.

You help your Minister feel supported before delivering bad news or before giving feedback on a less-than-stellar media performance.

You cushion the blow so a critical message lands and sticks.

It’s not always fun.
It can feel a bit manipulative. A bit transparent. A bit icky.

But it serves a purpose: to help leaders make better decisions.

And that’s why this Cabinet meeting felt so off.

Not because the flattery was excessive (it was).
But because it seemed so… pointless.

There was no hard message being softened.
No delicate negotiation being prepped.
No truth that needed to be sugar-coated so it could actually be heard.

Just pure theatre.
Just power for power’s sake.

And it also feels a bit sad.
What does it say about someone who can sit through three hours of that kind of sycophancy?

Who needs that kind of relentless validation?

In diplomacy, you build trust so you can deliver challenge.

You manage egos so you can land the truth.

But when challenge disappears altogether, when truth is no longer welcome, what’s left?

That’s why authoritarian regimes fail - not just morally, but functionally.
That’s why groupthink kills innovation.

That’s why senior leaders must create cultures where awkward conversations are safe, not punished.

My conclusion is:
You don’t have to love your leader’s quirks.
But you do have a duty to serve the mission not the ego.

That means finding ways to speak truth…
Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Even when it’s career-limiting.
Even when it would be so much easier to just clap.

So what? Here's my takeaway:

Manage the mood, but don’t mute the message.
→ Know when charm serves the mission and when it slides into self-preservation.
→ Make truth safe, not optional.
→ And if you’re the one in charge: reward honesty, not flattery.

Because the moment people stop telling you the truth, you’ve stopped leading.